I see too many people in the world today being co-dependent on someone else.
When you depend on someone else for your happiness, you will never be happy. There is no way that other person can know what you are thinking and feeling. Every single fight in the world is caused by a misunderstanding between two parties, usually because expectations of some sort weren’t communicated properly and therefore not met, leading to the feeling of disappointment.
If a person who isn’t meeting your expectations doesn’t even know that they are failing except from you yelling, crying, nagging, hitting, whining, etc., no one’s happy and violence begets more violence. Unfortunately, when your requirement for a partner is simply that they are breathing (a.k.a. alive) and showing feelings for you (whether it is giving you interest/love/sex depending upon your age and relationship maturity), it’s easy to think that you “have to have them or the world will end.”
This will lead you to being a rock who breaks up often.
So, how do you fix this? By being selfish. Yes, you heard me. Selfish.You focus on you and your life. You follow your passions and dreams. You learn and you grow. You figure out who you are.
You have to make yourself happy. If you don’t know how to do that, you haven’t spent enough time figuring out yourself. Only then will you know what makes you happy and you will be better prepared to communicate to someone else what your needs are.
Plus, did you ever stop to think that in giving yourself time to figure out who you are, you are giving your soul mate the time they need to figure out who they are? Then when you find each other, you both will be perfect for each other.
To paraphrase Buffy the Vampire Slayer: You are still cookie dough; you;re not done baking. How can anyone else enjoy soft warm cookie you if you aren’t ready yet?