Rocks like to blame.
It’s easier to point at someone else then to admit our own faults or that we did something wrong. It has to do with taking 100% responsibility for your own life. Rocks don’t want to do that.
It’s easy for a wife to complain about her husband and say that he does everything wrong, that he’s a complete failure. But let’s face it: it takes 2 to tango! First, living with her might not be that easy. Maybe she’s a perfectionist who judges everything. Maybe she’s forgotten how to communicate effectively and has just gone into full nag mode all the time. Maybe she’s a control freak who won’t even let him out of the house unless she goes with him. Second, let’s remember that at some point, she made the decision to have him. YES! It was her choice. And she keeps making the choice to have him in her life when she could make another decision to let him go.
Oh no, the codependent people here just felt that one. Let him go? Then she might be alone! The horrors!
Yeah, she might have to stand up for herself. She might have to be a Rocker! She might have to take 100% responsibility for her own life and actions.
Rocks will fall back from this one. It’s easier to keep the status quo, to not rock the boat. No pun intended there, but funny how the word became a verb to indicate an action. Grin!
Seriously, at some point, we all fall into doing this, to be working someone else’s plan. It’s not always bad as long as you’re aware that it’s going on — for example, you have a job with a boss (yes, that’s working someone else’s plan). But you have to know where to draw the line in the sand and not become a victim, especially if they mean to hurt someone else. This isn’t high school any more and Tom doesn’t need to be kissing Sally in order to make Betty jealous. Please stop my eye rolls.
You can only be a victim if you allow someone to have power over you. But no one can ever rule your mind. Make a new choice, and choose yourself.